You Might Be a Pirate …

If you trawl through the fansite database, skimming past the walkthroughs and mission advice, until you get to the good stuff: Jafs mods!

If Maas can cleverly stop you from saving the galaxy by placing several large, well-laden freighters in your path.

If you spend most of your time waiting for Jafs.

If you hear voices in your head while scanning cargoes: “Cal, we’re pirates, not garbage collectors,” or, “Oooh, lovely loooot!”

If the imaging module and subsystem targetters have their own joystick buttons … not that you care what the cargo is, you’d just rather target the freighter’s thrusters so as not to damage any of the pods!

If Jafs, fully loaded and on his way home, has ever gotten trapped inside a huge clump of cargo pods, requiring you to move them out of his way so he can fly home and return for another load.

If you’ve ever docked up to a 13th pod (21st for CustomJafs users) and returned it to base yourself.

If you’ve set your MP3 player mod to play a continous loop of “The Streetbeater”, the theme song to Sanford and Son, while watching Jafs collect pods, and thought to yourself, “It doesn’t get much better than this.”

If you wish the HUD could sort the contact list into freighters, cargo pods, and “other”.

If frozen sewage is where you get most of your cutting beam practice.

If you know the exact number of shots required at any given range to open a mega-pod.

If you’ve ever opened two or more mega-pods with one swipe of the cutting beam.

If, after waylaying a freighter in a convoy, you’ve ever raced through a cloud of fighters to get a clear shot at another freighter.

If Maas and SOLAN have been forced to invoice customers in crayon for want of office supplies.

If you’ve bought every mod, upgrade, and enhancement you could possibly get your hands on, yet continue to compulsively LOOT instead of finishing the game.

YOU MIGHT BE A PIRATE!